When you like your best friend's boyfriend more than a friend...
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SAYING OF THE WEEK!
You can’t stop the waves
But you can learn to surf!
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Dear Dolly InnerGirl,
My best friend introduced me to her crush. I got to know him well and we have a lot in common from music, parental probs etc. I told him how I felt and he felt the same way. I feel like I've stolen him from my bestie she liked him first and he liked her too. I wish I never met him. I feel so bad about it. I love my bestie so much and I can't hurt her like that. I have no idea what to do?
M, NSW
A:
Hiya M,
This situation is an opportunity to learn more about your feelings. You have already done something you feel uncomfortable about. You feel you have been dishonest to your friend, and good for you that you have a conscience. It’s like a warning light right? You use the word 'stolen'. Yet talking to someone with similar life experiences can be comforting.
Sit quietly, alone and deep breathe 3 times. If you were to toss a coin with friend on one side the guy on the other. What would your wish be as the coin was falling? That’s your answer. Or if the you were disappointed with the coin throw result, you now know what you don’t want!
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Dear Dolly InnerGirl,
I am really skinny and I get teased by my friends who call me 'ano' and I get really hurt. I'm always feeling really self conscious when I go to the beach or wear clothes that reveal my arms or legs. Being skinny runs in the family and I think I eat fine. I just want to become 'normal' like everyone else because I am always depressed when I look at them. What can I do to overcome this? Help!
Z, VIC
A:
Hi Z,
One of the most common ways to beat ourselves up, is to compare ourselves to others. Like, we are all different and that is scientific fact. You can care more about your self. Celebrate your body just the way it is. Every human body is an expression of its individuality.
Being frustrated about it doesn’t really help does it? It doesn’t change anything. It’s a waste of emotional energy. And in some circles, being really "slim" Is highly admired e.g. fashion models. Delete the word skinny from your mind and your mouth from now on. You are putting yourself down.
Pleasantly plump bodies are also highly sought after in some cultures where only plump is beautiful. So carry your body with pride and love. It’s the only place you have to live. Look after it and love it completely.
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