When you get the feeling your friends don't really like you...
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SAYING OF THE WEEK!
If we blame others for our failures
It follows on
That we congratulate others for our successes
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Dear Dolly InnerGirl,
I hang around a good group of friends at school and I like them but I get signals that they don’t like me. They never tell me straight forward but they leave me out of events outside of school. I get jealous when my best friend in the group calls the other girls her best friends and I get depressed. I am type of girl who doesn’t need 100's of friends, I only want one best friend who will go places with me and never leave me out and be there for me.
I get tired of it and I think about moving schools to find new friends who will never leave me out but I get scared about making new friends and fitting in at a new school. I don’t know what to do anymore, please help!!
K, QLD
A:
Hiya K,
You have already worked out that moving schools doesn’t mean your friendships will improve. Because wherever we go, we are there. Like, we take our expectations and attitudes with us. If you expect to be scared or rejected then you’ll get more of what you are experiencing now. When you get on a roll of looking at everything that’s wrong, you get more and more of it. Just because, that is what you notice.
Now this is about discovering an amazing truth. It’s looking at the same scene, with new eyes. Instead of wanting a best friend, why not be a friend to someone that you have noticed is also left out of groups after school. Being kind to someone who is in the same situation, can snap you out of your depression pronto. After all you know how they feel!
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Dear Dolly InnerGirl,
There is this guy that I like & he likes me but whenever we try & meet up we can't because of my folks. I am so annoyed I don’t know if I should give him a go or just leave it? My folks don’t approve of me having a boyfriend so I don’t know what I should do. Please help!
T, QLD
A:
Hi T,
You have respected you folks wishes, which shows you are very mature for your age. You probably understand this is the way they show they really love and care about you. So it is up to you, which is the most helpful way that Dolly innergirl can support you.
So think about how you speak and act around your family. Show them how responsible you are. Offer help around the house, or find other ways to be easy to be around. Show them and yourself, that when you don’t get what you want, you stay calm, and well behaved rather than throwing a tanty to get your way.
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