-----------------------------------------
SAYING OF THE WEEK!
EXPERIENCE IS A REMARKABLE TEACHER
FIRST COMES THE TEST
THEN COMES THE LESSON
------------------------------------------
Dear Dolly InnerGirl,
I have just got back from overseas and my best friend is not talking to me. I’ve tried talking to her and texting her but she just wont tell me what I’ve done wrong and now she’s started bitching about me and has turned all these other girls on me at school.
On top of that my parents are splitting up. They have been together for over 20 years. I knew it was coming but now that dad actually said he’s moving out it’s finally sunk in. I used to be depressed and I’ve just started to get over it and now I think all this is starting to bring it all back and I’m not sure what to do any more.
E, NSW
A:
Hey E,
The theme of your life at this time is one of change. Your friend has changed, and your parents are choosing to go their separate ways. As humans we love our comfort zone. Yet change is always challenging us. Like, write your name with your other hand. It feels weird. It’s a change, a little one at that. Its time to accept and even have fun with change. For example, you had an enjoyable change being overseas right? You cannot change your friend… she has her own issues. She is doing you a favour by allowing new friends to come into your life. That’s a good change. Now your parents were unhappy, so by moving on, they will be happier, and like isn’t that what you want for people you love?
Change your approach. Ask each of them how you can be supportive during this time. As you give your love to them, the transition will be so much more smooth. Play with change. Change your room around, declutter your stuff and give some away. There’s good energy in change when you use it to help yourself and others.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Dolly InnerGirl,
I've been bullied regularly throughout my whole school life. I'm in year 8. I've told teachers and the year level co-ordinators but it just doesn't stop it! Actually it just makes it worse! I'm not with the popular group and I'm happy with that. I wasn't quite happy with the friends I had and when I made new friends everyone saw me as an upset to the pecking order.
So they did what teens do best: tease. At first it was harmless, throw it over your shoulder kind of thing, but it soon got serious. My brother died early last year and I went to counselling often. I got teased for that. Then when my crushes became public I got a blow of that as well. I didn't want to say anything to anyone and the anger kept building.
Only three weeks ago another thing struck up and I broke down in class and cried. I get bullied EVERYDAY. I'm failing a lot of things I'd usually ace and coming home from school more upset than the day before. I want to move schools or not go at all. It sucks. What am I going to do?
D, VIC
A:
Hi D,
Asking for help is such a powerful move to make, so you have already begun to improve your life. You are ready and willing to do life differently. As far as other peeps behaviour towards you nothing you have done has worked. So last resort, yet the only thing that can help is within you. Time to recycle your thinking!
Problems are lessons in disguise. If we didn’t have problems we wouldn’t learn strength, patience, faith and perseverance. When we Hate what’s going on, know something marvellous is happening. Be thankful that you have an opportunity to grow!
Write down the issue that’s bothering you the most at the moment.
Under that now write “Why is this happening to me?”
Write and write everything that you can think of...just let the words flow on and on. Then read it back, and you’ll be surprised at how in times that challenge, you have wisdom to help yourself. When you see what the real issues are, you will receive the gift that the situation is trying to give you.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Email us with your questions dollymail@acpmagazines.com.au with "DOLLYinnergirl" as the subject.
CALL FOR HELP
If you have a problem, it's important that you talk to someone about it. If there are no adults, mates or teachers that can help you, phone one of these numbers for experienced counsellors and advice ...
Click here for numbers
Want to chat confidentially to other girls about relationship troubles? Head to the DOLLY messageboards and vent and question away!
