For Elissa, 22, her wedding day was one of the worst of her life. Bought up in a strict religious American cult she was made to submit to her husband “mind, body and soul”.
As far back as she can remember Elissa was taught to ‘be sweet and obey’. Born into one of the strictest “church cults” in America - the Fundamentalist Church of Latter Day Saints (FLDS) – she was taught how to
feel, speak, act and think by leader Rulon Jeffs and his son Warren.
She was expected to wear clothes that covered every inch of body and grow her hair long, while tattoos, body piercing, make-up, modern music and television were banned. She spent her spare time listening to sermons and was shut off from the outside world.
Elissa’s home life was also anything but normal. Her father had three wives and she grew up with 14 siblings and 10 half brothers and sisters. Having more than one wife was considered the norm in the FLDS. In fact, until Rulon Jeffs’ death in 2002, he was believed to have married 22 women, including two of Elissa's sisters, and fathered more than 60 children. His son, Warren, had more than 40 wives and 56 children.
For years Elissa followed this way of life without question until she turned 14 and was made to marry her 19-year-old cousin, Allen. Arranged marriages and incest were rife within the FLDS, but even at such a young age and despite all the brainwashing, Elissa knew it was wrong.
She begged everyone she knew not to let it happen but her prayers went unanswered and in April 2001 she was bound to her new husband 'for time and all eternity'.
“I clutched the delicate silk nightgown and embroidered robe of my bridal gown as I hurried to the bathroom. Though it was just a few feet from my bedroom, the bathroom seemed like a sanctuary, the one place I could be alone. With a turn of the lock, I slid to my knees and leaned my back against the door – for the moment I was safe. Over the past several days, I’d cried myself out of tears, and now I felt strangely numb, unable to cope with what was going on.
"When I’d awoken that morning, I was a fourteen-year-old girl hoping for the miracle of divine intervention; my prayers, however, had gone unanswered. With no other choice, I’d submitted to the will of our prophet and had married my nineteen-year-old first cousin.
"As a member of the Fundamentalist Church of Latter Day Saints (FLDS), I’d been raised to believe that marriages were arranged through a revelation from God, and that these revelations were delivered through our prophet, who was the Lord’s mouthpiece on earth. As a faithful follower, I’d embraced this principle and believed in it wholeheartedly, never imagining that at fourteen, a revelation would be made about me.
"I pictured my husband waiting for his bride, and the thought of sharing a bed with him terrified me. I had no idea what happened between a man and his wife in bed, and I didn’t want to find out ... Nausea overtook me, and I raced to the sink, digging my palms into its porcelain edge and trying not to vomit. Looking up, I caught sight of my red-rimmed eyes in the mirror. I had no idea how long I’d been in there, but I knew I had to leave the comfort of the bathroom. I knew these stolen minutes behind the locked door were my last solitude. From that time on, I would be the property of my husband, and would have to obey him completely. All I wanted to do is run to Mum’s room right next door and curl up beside her, but it couldn’t be done. I would always be her daughter, but I was no longer her little girl.”
In the years that followed, Elissa’s husband, Allen, routinely abused her and forced her to sleep with him. When she sought help from church elders, she was told to submit like a dutiful wife. By the age of 17 she had sunk into deep depression, suffered four miscarriages and a stillborn child and even attempted suicide.
It wasn’t until she met fellow FLDS member, Lamont, that she found hope. He was having his own problems with the church and the pair fell in love and ran away together.
Once outside the confines of the church, Elissa decided to testify against new leader Warren Jeffs. Her evidence at his 2006 trial was enough to convict him of two counts of rape as an accomplice and sentence him to a minimum of 10 years in prison.
She now leads a relatively normal life with Lamont and their two children but she will never forget her stolen childhood and has vowed to help other young girls, such as her two sisters, escape the FLDS.
Extract taken from Stolen Innocence by Elissa Wall, published by HarperCollins, $29.99 ARP, available now.
*Model is in no way associated with this story*
