What should I do?
Q. I think I really like this guy named Brad but he is 17 and I'm 14 and everyone says the age diff is too big. I also used to have a relationship with his best mate, Jake, and now we hate each other and Brad says he doesn't trust me because of some stuff Jake has told him about me. He won't even tell me what I've supposedly done! I don't know what to do.
He's not really hot but he's really popular and confident. I used to be popular but I left because of the bitch fights. I'm not very pretty either, but most guys say I have a heaps good personality and that's why they like me. I feel so guilty coz I have lots of guys ask me out and I don't want anyone except Brad. At the moment me and Brad are fighting about Jake. Please help me I don't know what to do.
Fiona, via e-mail.
Callum says:
Hey Fiona, the age gap is pretty big so he might feel a bit awkward hanging out with a younger chick, and you two might find that you don't have that much in common. He's at a different stage of his life, even though he's only three years older, soon he'll be able to go out partying and clubbing and you have to decide whether you can put up with that.
The fact that you hate his best mate isn't gonna make matters any easier. Guys are often influenced by what their mates say, especially best mates. When you say you "left" popularity, you shouldn't think like that. I know when your 14 there's all the popular groups and nerd groups, but pretty soon you get over that and it all becomes more about who you are and people stop worrying about who's "popular". You shouldn't feel guilty about not going out with other blokes if you're really into Brad, but don't wait around for him forever either.
Don't try and win a fight that's over his mate because you can't. Chicks come and go, but mates generally stick together and you insulting or putting Jake down is just gonna piss him off. If you really like Brad, first you should try and make peace with Jake, then when everything's worked out, give it a go with Brad. I think the age gap might be a problem, but if you like each other enough, then it's just something you have to work with.
