I really hate bitching and I want it to stop. All my friends gossip about everyone and everything and I go along with it — but I feel so guilty, especially when I do it about the people I like. I've told my friends how much I hate it but they don't take me seriously. I'm not even sure they like me. How can I ditch my inner bitch? I feel so ashamed of myself.
Elise, WA

Bitching is often just a bad habit, so the first step is it to make a conscious decision to stop. Instead of allowing yourself to automatically slip into gossip mode, stop and actually think about the words coming out of your mouth. This'll make it easier to turn a conversation around when you notice it heading down a path to nastiness. When others around you begin talking about others, refuse to get caught up in it. Try changing the subject and if it continues, saying something like, 'Come on, we must have better things to talk about' might help. When you find yourself getting caught up in the bitchiness whirlwind, remind yourself how much you'd hate it if others were talking about you that way — it can be a good wake up call. Lead by example: the more you can look for people's positives rather than negatives, the better you will feel and the more people will like you.