Dear DOLLY, I cut myself. Mum knows but she sent me to a lady who doesn't help. So she's sending me to a psychiatrist instead, and wants to put me on anti-depressants. But I don't want to talk at counselling, so I don't. They both get really frustrated and angry at me. What can I do? Anonymous
Life can really suck sometimes, can't it. It must feel awful being in a place where you feel the need to cut yourself, and then it feels bad all over again when you don't think you can talk to someone about it. But I'm guessing that by writing to me, you do want to do something about this and that's great.
Try and stick with that impulse, no matter how hard it seems sometimes. Your mum's anger is most likely because she's scared and really wants to help. People who self-harm might have depression, or there might be other reasons. You might not know why you're cutting, it just happens when things get too much. What a counsellor, or psychiatrist, or perhaps your GP, can all help you with is to try to sort through the confusion and also try to make sure that the self-harming doesn't become dangerous to your life or your long term health.
And while all the professionals might know how to help you, they can only help you if you feel ok talking to them. It can take a while - even several visits - before that happens. It is ok to try someone else if you really don't gel with someone.
Antidepressants can be very useful in particular situations - the psychiatrist would need to explain to you what the benefits are and how they would work for you. But counselling is a vital part of getting better too. It might also be important for the family to have some counselling, or some issues at school to be addressed - it all depends on what is going on for you at the moment.
You really deserve to feel better about life, and although your mum's support is critical, it's also up to you to take that brave step and put some trust into a professional who can help you turn this around.
You're worth it. You can get more support and advice from www.reachout.com.au or from Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800.
